Day Zero

I always wanted a life that was beautiful, but the history that I might share would be filled with dark bruises. There are certainly other people who have had it much worse in their lives, but this nagging dissatisfaction - this constant need to fill in the spaces that I perceive, has been tied to struggles with depression, with serious issues related to food addiction and struggle, and with a disconnect between my inner drive toward peace and well-being and a wholly unsatisfactory perception of my outer self.

Don't worry.

Not all of this blog is going to be so narcissistic and focused on just my own anxieties.

But, this is a story of a journey. The journey is going to be heavily focused on food, because quite frankly, food has been my arch enemy from the beginning.

It's going to be focused on setting objectives and meeting goals, something I have always been reluctant to do through a straightforward cut. I always looked for the way to be unique, but at point zero, being unique doesn't seem that appealing. It is a lack of discipline, that started with a rebellion against the relationship that has plagued me most - that of the relationship I have with food.

It almost killed me last week.

I will tell more about that on Day 1, but for now, it is Day Zero, where I start, where I make some plans, and where I try to take the pressure off of those things I cannot control in favor of those that I can.

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